Kicking Back on a Hump Day

You know, once upon a time Hump Day meant something to me. I’ve been retired for so long, I’m lucky I know what month it is let alone what day of the week. Well, that’s not entirely true. Since I still see my guys off to work in the mornings, I do know the difference between a work day and the weekend.

Hubby keeps talking about retiring. I should be thrilled, right? I’ll let you in on a secret – most women DO NOT look forward to their husband’s retirement. It means cooking at least two if not three meals a day – with more dishes to wash and a husband who is going to get underfoot all the time. We’ll have to dust and vacuum around them. We have routines. And men are bound to screw that up.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being with my husband – on vacation or at the end of a long day. I adore falling asleep in his arms and waking next to him each morning. However; on a three day weekend when he has nothing to do, by day three he’s underfoot. And when he’s under foot, things are different for me. I have to think about what he might think. Example; I had some last minute laundry to do on a Sunday. Normally laundry is done during the week, but this was a coffee spill emergency on a church dress. Didn’t really think much about how I do the laundry until I realized he was watching me. You see, I talk to our washing machine. It’s old. So before I do a load I let the machine know how much I appreciate a little cooperation. And once the load is done, I say thank you. I’ll even wipe it down so it looks all nice and clean.

“You know that’s a machine, right?” He asked in bewilderment.

“Yes, but even a machine likes to be appreciated.” Hear that? It means I appreciate things, and not that I’m crazy. Okay, a little touched. But not certifiable.

How many of you were fans of the Big Bang Theory? Do you remember when Sheldon said he wasn’t crazy, that his mother had him tested? I so relate to that – because my mother’s psychiatrist diagnosed me as “Socially retarded.” Whatever that means. This is why I don’t put a whole lot of stock into psychiatry in the first place – he never even spoke to me when he made that declaration – it was all based upon my mother’s perception of me. In my opinion, that’s not very professional. Psychiatrists are very difficult people to argue with – they see things that aren’t there.

As a teenager, my mother had me in group therapy – more proof that I’m crazy I guess. Anyway, in group we didn’t sit in chairs like normal people. No, there was a big empty room except for a stack of square pieces of carpet in the corner and a giant candle in the middle of the floor. When you came into the room, you were to pick a color of carpet the represented you and sit on it. We all sat Indian-style in a circle and I kept waiting for the pipe to be passed. It was silly. Anyway, one day I took a blue piece of carpet. The kindly doctor asked why I was depressed. I said I wasn’t. Then why are you sitting on a blue square? Because it was the one on top and I’m too damn lazy to dig down to another color. Why are you in denial? Listen, Jackass, I’m lazy, not depressed. And now I’m pissed. Dip!

I’ll let you in on something else. We (the kids in therapy) would sit in the parking lot before group and make up stuff to feed him. This dip gobbled it all up. I think if you want to relate to kids, be real. Sitting on the floor, starring at a candle and talking with some A-hole wearing a tie-dyed outfit and a comb-over do to hide his receding hair line was a waste of time. People respond to sincerity – especially kids. You want honesty? Then be honest. Maybe I need a T-Shirt that reads:

I Know I’m Crazy
My Mother Had Me Tested

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Now where was I? Oh yeah, it’s hump day – that’s Wildcard Wednesday in our house. Sometimes I forget about that wonderful Instant Pot hanging out in the kitchen when I start preparing a meal. It’s great for Hump Days because I’m too damn lazy to dig in the freezer. Frozen chicken breasts were right on top. Have an awesome day!

Barbecue Chicken Sliders
3 boneless Chicken Breasts
1/2 cup Chicken Stock
2 cups Baby Ray or favorite Barbecue Sauce
24 Dinner Rolls or Slider Buns

Place frozen chicken breasts in the insert of the Instant Pot. Pour chicken stock and 1 cup of barbecue sauce over the breasts.

Lock the lid in place, make sure steam valve is closed. Set PRESSURE COOK, MANUAL, HIGH, 25 MINUTES. Press start.

Once chicken is cooked, allow pot to vent naturally for 10 minutes, then quick release any remaining pressure. Remove breasts from pot, discard any liquid. Shred chicken with two forks, a shredding claw or with an electric mixer. Return shredded meat to the instant pot. Stir in remaining barbecue sauce. Keep warm.

Split rolls, brush with a little butter and toast under the broiler just long enough to warm the rolls.

Pile on the shredded chicken and serve with Air Fryer Tater Tots for a quick and easy meal. Perfect for Hump Day or any day.

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Let your hearts take comfort, all who hope in the Lord.