Are Compassion and Mercy the Same?

Today is the Second Sunday of Easter; Divine Mercy Sunday. What does that mean in a literal sense? Are Mercy and Compassion interchangeable? Compassion involves kindness and requires empathy. Does mercy contain these same elements?

Compassion comes from two words in Latin. Com (with) and Pati (to suffer). The literal Latin translation of Compassion would be to suffer with. When we feel compassion, there is empathy because we are able to imagine what the other person must be feeling. In our hearts, we suffer with them, and respond accordingly.

Mercy on the other hand does not require empathy. Mercy comes from the Latin Merces, which means “price” or “wage.” Mercy is in response to another’s needs without connecting to their plight. Mercy is forgiveness even when it might not have been earned. It is withholding judgment when a punishment is called for. Or to render a lessor punishment. Mercy often bestows the opportunity for a second chance. While you would think compasson would be a part of this, mercy and compassion do not always go hand in hand. Too often mercy becomes a weapon, a way of wielding power over another because we have shown mercy and now they are in our debt. This is why Jesus tells us to “be merciful as our Father is merciful”. Forgive a wrong done or a debt owed but as God has forgiven us, without attachments. Mercy does not require compassion, love or understanding. However; when the Father is merciful, He is also loving and kind in His mercy. To be merciful as the Father is merciful is an act of kindness.

This brings me to something I read recently. It was advice posted by someone on Social Media regarding Empathy, Kindness and Compassion. Just as Mercy and Compassion are sometimes confused, the advice offered seemed to be confusing Empathy with Kindness. The writer warned that sometimes when kindness is shown, we become vulnerable. That to be kind requires letting our guard down; and in so doing we are at the risk of being taken advantage of. To protect ourselves; empathy and kindness should be gaurded, and even withheld if demonstrating kindness comes at a personal price.

Empathy is a strength.
It’s what connects us and makes us human.
But like anything, there is balance.

There is a specific line where empathy stops being helpful
and starts becoming costly.
Never lower your guard so much that you compromise yourself
or the people around you in the name of being “nice”.

You can’t set yourself on fire just to keep someone else warm.

So yes, be kind.
Be understanding.
But stay aware.
Real empathy requires boundaries
and common sense.

The comments that followed these seemingly wise words were in complete agreement. I had one question for the author – does setting boundaries require us to walk away from people? I would never compromise my faith (which is the core of who I am) for someone else. But just maybe I am the first, the last, the only one this unkind person has encountered willing to reach out with kindness. Every time we reach out to another person, it comes at a risk. Where are we suppose to draw the line? Do we only show compassion to those who are equally compassionate? To show mercy only when we have something to gain? And demonstrate empathy only to those who have shown the same to us in our time of need? I wish I knew where to draw this line. Until I figure it out, I’m just gonna keep giving this life all I’ve got. Anything less would be a compromise.

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Merciful Sunday Supper
Braised Short Ribs over Garlic Truffle Whipped Potatoes
Brandy-Glazed Carrots

Braised Short Ribs over Garlic Truffle Whipped Potatoes
Short Ribs
3 lbs Beef Short Ribs
Salt to taste
Black Pepper to taste
8 oz Pear Onions
4 Garlic Clove
8 oz Cremini Mushrooms
1 tablespoon Olive Oil
2 tablespoons Tomato Paste
1 tablespoon Brown Sugar
2 cups Red Wine
2 cups Beef Stock
3 springs Thyme
1 Bay Leaf

Heat oven to 325-degrees.

Season short ribs generously with salt and pepper. Place ribs in a large roasting pan. Peel onions, mince garlic, trim and slice mushrooms. Set aside until ready to use.

Heat the oil in a large pan. Once warm, sauté onions in the oil until tender and fragrant. Add garlic, sauté for an additional minute, then add mushrooms; sauté until mushrooms release their juices, about another 2 minutes.

Mix in the tomato paste and brown sugar, gently toss vegetables to coat. Allow vegetables to continue to cook in the tomato paste mixture for another minute for the flavors to fully bloom.

Pour the wine into the pan to deglaze, scraping the bottom to incorporate any flavorful browned bits. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let the wine mixture simmer for 10 minutes to reduce. Add the beef stock; pour over the ribs.

Cover tightly, transfer to the heated oven to braise for about 2 hours; until the meat is fork-tender. Remove cover, drape thyme over the ribs and continue to cook another 30 minutes uncovered. During the final cooking time, prepare the potatoes.

Garlic Truffle Whipped Potatoes
8 Russet Potatoes
3 Garlic Cloves
Half and Half as needed
4 tablespoons Butter
Truffle Salt to taste
White Pepper to taste
White Truffle Oil as needed

Peel potatoes and cut into 1-inch cubes. Place in a large pot, cover with about an inch of water. Peel garlic cloves, leave whole. Add to the potatoes in the pot.

Bring water to a rolling boil. Cook the potatoes and garlic cloves until very tender, about 20 minutes. Drain and return to the pot. Stir in the half and half, and the butter then mash until smooth. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Drizzle with a little truffle oil.

Switch to hand-held mixer fitted with a whip. Whip potatoes until smooth but not yet stiff. If necessary re-warm potatoes before serving.

Finishing Touches
Truffle Oil as needed
Fresh Thyme garnish

To serve: Place Garlic Truffle Potatoes in individual bowls. Top with 2 ribs. Drizzle with braising liquid, onions and mushrooms. Finish with a swirl of truffle oil and a garnish of Thyme.

Brandy-Glazed Carrots
1/4 cup Parsley
1-1/2 lbs Carrots
8 tablespoons Butter
1/2 cup Honey
1/4 cup Brandy
Salt to taste
Black Pepper to taste

Mince parsley. Peel and cut carrots on the bias, about an inch or so long. Set aside until ready to use.

In a large skillet, bring 1/2 inch of water to a boil. Add carrots. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until crisp-tender.

White the carrots cook, cube butter and set aside.

Drain carrots, set aside. To the now empty skillet, add cubed butter and honey. Melt together over medium heat.

Once the butter is fully melted and incorporated into the honey, remove skillet from heat. Pour brandy into the skillet. It will sputter and bubble up, that’s okay.

Return skillet to heat, increase heat to medium-high. Bring brandy to a boil, let cook until liquid is reduced to about a half-cup.

Add the carrots and parsley to the skillet. Season with salt and pepper; heat through, spooning brandy glaze over the carrots to coat.

To serve, plate carrots alongside the short ribs and enjoy.

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I was hard pressed and was falling,
but the LORD helped me.
My strength and my courage is the LORD,
and He has been my savior.